Nearly 90 percent of Malaysian Muslim men are one-woman men.

CAIRO, August 7, 2005 (IslamOnline.net) – A survey showed that the overwhelming majority of Malaysian Muslim men believe that one wife is enough, according to a Malaysian paper Sunday, August 7.

Despite being allowed four wives, nearly 90 percent of Malaysian Muslim men are one-woman men, with fewer than one percent married to four women, the comprehensive survey showed, according to the New Straits Times.

The poll of 13,000 Malaysians by the Universiti Putra Malaysia showed that only five percent of the 7,589 married Muslim men polled have two wives while 4.3 percent have three wives.

This means nine out of 10 Malaysian men have one wife, the paper said.

Shari'ah laws vary from state to state in Muslim-majority Malaysia, but they generally require the signed consent of a man’s first wife before he is allowed to take a second, it added.

The survey on behavioral habits that could lead to HIV infection carried out last year also found that despite bigamy being outlawed for non-Muslims in the country, nearly four percent of Chinese men had two wives and 1.3 percent had three wives.

Nearly three percent of Indian men had two wives and nearly two per cent had three wives, the survey found out.

Under the law, those guilty of bigamy can be fined and jailed up to seven years.

Couples interviewed by the Times told of their lasting marriages and their recipes for a happy partnership with many of them saying that there is little need for another wife when there is a “soul-mate at home”.

Zainal Ibrahim has been married for 41 years to Norshidah Mohd Amin and, during that time, the thought of taking a second wife has not crossed his mind.

"You marry just once, that’s all. You don’t marry another for no reason. When you’re contented with one person, why should you take another?" asked the retired Special Branch senior officer.

"For me, my job, my wife and my children were all-consuming. I did not have time to think of anything else, what more another marriage," Zainal, 71, said.

Norshidah, 68, said it is important for a wife to know what makes her husband happy.

"If he likes socializing, then you should also get to know his friends and their families," she said.

Giving her prescription of happiness, Norshidah told the paper a wife needed to always focus on the strong points of her husband and forget the weaker points, as she too must realize she is not perfect.

Another couple, Santokh Singh Gill and Dr Balwant Kaur have been married for three decades.

Having just celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary on June 8, he says that he cannot imagine life without her, the paper said.
"I have lived for my family the last 30 years. My wife and my three children are everything to me," he said.

"When I go overseas and return home, she never fails to greet me at the door," said Santokh.

When asked whether he would think of taking another wife if it were legally allowed, Santokh said: "No man can do justice to two marriages. It’s difficult to run two houses at one time."

Of course, in the course of 30 years, Santokh said there have been temptations but added that a person needs to know what to do when faced with them.

"For me, the thought of divorce is unimaginable," he said.

Dr Balwant said what keeps her marriage together is sheer trust and the fact that they tell each other everything.

"There must be no suspicions. You have to tell each other everything, even your past," she said.

The couple said that having a good sense of humor and being open with each other also keeps the relationship healthy.

On the other hand, The Times interviewed one of the four percent of Muslim men in the country who have three wives.

After 22 years in a polygamous marriage, Datuk Mokhtar Abdul Samad, 58, said he has absolutely no regrets.

However, he admitted he took three wives because he had a strong sexual desire.

"I am only human and I have a strong sexual desire. Instead of committing sin, I might as well get married legally."

He said his views might cause a controversy as not many Malaysians were as forthright as he was in this matter.

The construction company owner said: "My wives are treated equally and they are given everything equally, right from the same number of children — three each — to the same type of bungalow furnished with the same type of furniture.

He spends his nights equally with his wives.

"Since the houses are close by, I spend my nights on a rotation basis with my three wives. However, if one of them is sick I will stay longer in her house but other than that, I rotate every night."

"We only became rich recently, so I can say my wives did not marry me for my money. They married me because I am an honest person," Mokhtar added.

Mokhtar, who has seven grandchildren, said his success was due to his wives