Numerous Prophetic Hadiths (traditions) emphasize the importance of maintaining ties of kinship, both near and far. In the Prophet’s (peace be upon him) saying: “You will conquer Egypt… so treat its people well, for they have a covenant and kinship ties,” there is a profound indication of the obligation to keep promises and the significance of extended family ties through lineage and marriage. If caring for distant kinship ties across centuries holds such a status of importance, then what about close relatives?
Therefore, the Prophet (peace be upon him) highlighted its immense status in several instances, including:
- Its immense status: “Kinship is suspended from the Throne, saying: ‘Whoever maintains me, Allah will maintain him; and whoever cuts me off, Allah will cut him off.'”
- The consequence of severing it: “The severer of kinship ties will not enter Paradise.”
- The true nature of maintaining it: “The one who maintains kinship ties is not the one who merely reciprocates. The true maintainer is the one who, when his kinship ties are severed, mends them.”
- Its virtue and blessing: “Whoever is pleased to have his provision expanded and his life span extended, let him maintain his ties of kinship.”
This means that the family is not just a blood bond, but a source of sustained provision, descending mercy, and stability of life’s blessings.
The Universal Law of Mutual Trial Within the Family
It is an ongoing universal law in creation that almost no family is entirely free from some disputes, shortcomings, or flaws; this is due to human nature, as people differ in their temperaments, opinions, and circumstances. A believer may be tested by a disbeliever, the righteous by the wicked, the dutiful by the sinful, the rich by the poor, the young by the old, and men by women. Everyone is tested by another, and this is Allah’s universal law.
As Allah the Almighty says: {And We have made some of you as a trial for others – will you have patience? And your Lord is ever Seeing.} [Al-Furqan: 20]. His saying, “will you have patience?” indicates that the wisdom behind the trial is to reveal who embodies patience, exercises reason, treats others well, refrains from causing harm, and fears Allah regarding those they are tested by.
Therefore, the existence of family and domestic problems is a natural occurrence in every home. What matters most is the approach to dealing with them and how to overcome them while preserving affection and respect. Hence, it is imperative to constantly return to effective religious guidance so that the family structure remains built on enduring harmony and stability, even with the presence of some shortcomings and mistakes due to human nature.
The Principle of {And Reconciliation is Best}
One of the most binding duties and strongest obligations—in this era where disputes have multiplied and the pace of estrangement has quickened—is reviving the culture of the principle: {And reconciliation is best} [An-Nisa: 128]. It is an authentic Islamic principle that calls for building family and social relations, extinguishing conflicts, and uniting hearts. It is a principle rooted in wisdom, inner strength, and seeking the pleasure of Allah the Almighty. It is not a sign of weakness or personal defeat, nor does it necessarily mean permanently giving up one’s rights; rather, it is tied to the greater good. Reconciliation is better than ongoing enmity, reconciliation is better than estrangement, and reconciliation is better than family disintegration and the loss of children.
Embracing the principle of “reconciliation is best” helps prevent the escalation of problems within the family and society. It thwarts the whispers of the devil aimed at dismantling the family and weakening bonds, paving the way for affection, understanding, and the preservation of rights. For this reason, reconciliation is a great door of goodness in Islam, and its status is higher than the degree of voluntary fasting, prayer, and charity. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Shall I not inform you of something better in degree than fasting, prayer, and charity?” They said: “Yes.” He said: “Reconciling between people.”
Whenever a person recalls the goodness and virtue of reconciliation during a family dispute, it leads them to prioritize the interest of love and brotherhood over personal ego, anger, and prejudice, preventing arrogance from leading them to sin. Initiating reconciliation is also proof of sound judgment and uprightness, and a cause for the descent of tranquility into the heart, whether the reconciliation is between spouses, relatives, or friends.
Understanding the jurisprudence of the principle “reconciliation is best” and applying it in our lived reality is what leads to family stability and the spread of mercy among people.
Eid: A Precious Opportunity to Initiate Reconciliation
Eid is considered a great opportunity to mend family relationships and strengthen the bonds of love among relatives. Many hearts soften during the days of Eid because of the meanings of tolerance they carry, and souls become ready to forgive and forget past differences.
Among the most beautiful ways to invest the days of Eid in repairing relationships and purifying hearts are the following:
- Initiating Greetings: Taking the initiative to send a kind, short congratulatory message or making a brief phone call to check in can psychologically pave the way for the other party to accept dialogue. It can end years of estrangement and bring warmth back to the relationship. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Do not belittle any good deed, even if it is just meeting your brother with a cheerful face.”
- Visiting Relatives After a Period of Distance: Eid visits contribute to family cohesion, uniting hearts, removing animosity, and instilling a sense of family belonging in children as a practical example of honoring parents and maintaining family ties.
- Clearing Misunderstandings Upon Meeting: Eid gatherings help bring hearts closer; many disputes arise due to a lack of direct communication. When people gather and converse with a spirit of affection and cheerfulness, bad suspicions and false perceptions disappear.
- Exchanging Gifts: Exchanging gifts is a highly effective symbolic investment in repairing relationships. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Exchange gifts, and you will love one another.” A gift, no matter how modest, breaks down barriers, removes emotional distance, and opens hearts to forgiveness, especially when offered with a kind word.
- Gathering the Family Around the Dining Table: Family gatherings around dining tables are a golden opportunity to strengthen bonds and bring joy to both young and old. Children rejoice in family gatherings, and the elderly find comfort in the closeness of their grandchildren, not to mention the educational aspects of teaching children generosity, altruism, and good hospitality.
Let Eid tables be more than just food; let them be a social occasion to heal souls, revive feelings of harmony, and leave good memories that make Eid warmer and more joyful.
In Conclusion
One of the most beautiful and best things a Muslim can do during Eid is to begin by making peace among their family members and renewing relationships based on love and piety. They should not make Eid merely about new clothes or lavish meals, but rather a divine opportunity to return hearts to their purity.
An ideal, successful family is not one devoid of disputes and mistakes. Rather, it is one that knows how to manage its crises, appreciates the good, and overlooks flaws, while maintaining family ties and enduring harmony. Through the righteousness of the family, tranquility is achieved, bonds are strengthened, a person feels safe, and they attain a great reward from Allah the Almighty.
A Thought: It is never wise to open the files of the past on days of joy.
